But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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