If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize