how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
