Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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