they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I need to stop coming to work sober
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
