We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
