Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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