Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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