community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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