I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
