You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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