How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
