I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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