Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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