Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize