My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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