I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
