fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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