I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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