so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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