Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
