yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
