i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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