i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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