im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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