I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
