And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
