I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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