All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
