how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You've changed since you got that strap on
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
