So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
