A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
