Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I want to make a zoo with you.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
