we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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