apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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