i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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