ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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