Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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