I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The feeling are messing with the penis
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
