I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
