I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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