Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
