Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
