What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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