And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
