Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do herpes really smell.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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