i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
