Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
