Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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