What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
