member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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