Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
