i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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